Wednesday night I got to the church at 6:16 for the launch of our fall Grace Groups session, which started at six.
The chairs were already set out in rows. The handouts were printed and stacked on the table at the front, next to a cup of markers. Somebody had written “Welcome to Grace Group” on the whiteboard. Someone else had opened in prayer and was partway into the first question. Nine people had come, and by the end of the night all nine had said yes to the whole semester.
I sat down and listened. At the end I wrapped things up. So I did have something to do that night. It just wasn’t any of the work that made the night happen, and closing is the easy end of it.
The thing I’d been at closed around noon, two hours away. I organized this group. It was on the calendar that night because I put it there. I got there for the last part of it.
Earlier that same day I said to myself that I tend to decide something and then go do it, and that I’ve never been good at equipping other people to do it instead. Nobody asked me. I’m still working to figure that out, a whole ministry career in.
Then I drove home and walked into a room other people had already opened.
Those two things sat next to each other for most of a day before I noticed they were next to each other.
I’d like to tell you they’re connected. That the confession was wrong, or that the room proves I’ve gotten better at this than I think. I don’t actually know that. It’s just as possible that good staff made a Wednesday work in spite of me, which is a different thing than being equipped by me. Nobody who set out those chairs was thinking about my development.
What I can say is that the chairs were set, and I didn’t set them.
I’m still bummed I missed the start.